XMAS JOKES & RIDDLES

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !


What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

What does the big candle say to the little candle ?
I’m going out tonight !

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !

What does Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It’s Christmas, Eve !

What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?
The letter “D” !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !



What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

Why is Rudolph always wet?
Because he is a rain-deer!

Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph!

What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want because he can’t hear you!

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He looks at his calen-deer!

How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they look silly in snowsuits!


How long should an elf’s legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!



What’s the first thing elves learn in school?
The “elf”-abet!



One elf said to another elf, “We had Grandma for Christmas dinner”.
And the other elf said, “Really? We had turkey!”



How do elves greet each other?
“Small world, isn’t it?”



Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!

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